So, I thought I would take an interesting test to see what it can tell me that I don't already know. So, here's the results…enjoy! So does this mean I'm a total fuck up and not dateable? Leave your comments please :D

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it's likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you've done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it's very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don't have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you're given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it's possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to "stay within the lines." Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it's likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.

Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your "creative juices" flowing.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to "take things as they come" and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With the strong degree of self-confidence that you possess, it's no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it's self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn't have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it's likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life.

Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it's likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you'll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.

These aren't all the reasons I love Audie, but here are some:

1. I can picture us growing up, getting married, having kids together, and sharing the perfect life
2. You can make me laugh like no one else can
3. Whenever I hear your voice I can't help but smile
4. My stomach, heart and soul are telling me that you are the one
5. You make me feel so welcomed
6. You are perfect
7. You make me feel like nothing bad could ever happen to either of us
8. When we kiss it feels like time stops
9. When we are together everything just feels right
10. No matter how upset I am, you can always cheer me up
11. We have and respect our limits
12. You understand what I am going through
13. You respect me
14. You know and respect that I don't want to rush into things
15. You help me in any and every way possible
16. You know that sometimes a hug can mean more

29. You are honest
30. You are responsible
31. You are mature
32. You are dependable
33. You do everything to make me happy
34. You're everything I'll ever need
35. We used to talk for hours and be talking the whole time
36. I miss you when we aren't around each other
37. I miss you before you are ever gone

65. You are loyal
66. You will spend time listening to me talk on and on about something that makes absolutely no sense but you will pretend to understand anyways.
67. You are gentle
68. We are alike
69. You make my life complete
70. You are so sweet
71. You are so patient
73. You are creative
74. You will go out of you way to make me happy
75. You care about your friends
76. You care about your family
77. We don't have just a relationship, but we have built a friendship
78. You give me you're honest opinion
79. We can say the stupidest things without worrying what the other person is going to say
80. I feel something with you that I don't feel with anyone else
81. You have never hit or abused me in anyway
82. You stand up for me
83. You have a beautiful smile
84. I can act like I am five years old around each other…sometimes LOL

85. You are funny but you also know when to be serious
86. You joke around with me just to make me laugh

MY NEXT 30 YEARS – A WAKE UP CALL

"I think Ill take a moment, celebrate my age The ending of an era and the turning of a page Now its time to focus in on where I go from here Lord have mercy on my next thirty years"

 The past year and a half I have been listening to the song "My Next Thirty Years" by Time McGraw. And during that time it made me realize many things in my life. Most of these I've told myself I'll do when I get the chance. But up until 3 months ago I didn't have the chance or opportunity. I often wondered what it would be & feel like to actually accomplish these. Three months ago I took a risk, a very BIG risk. I know it wasn't the wisest on how I went about it, but I knew if I didn't act quickly the opportunity might pass me by. See, I quit a job I had for a job that wanted me with only an acceptance letter, but no other guarantees. That's a very big risk to take & not one I normally do, especially knowing it could have gone sour and screwed me. I know my girlfriend was not happy I did it, but was glade it actually worked out…me too!

That job opened the door for good pay and great medical & dental benefits. This gave me the opportunities I only hoped for. The paychecks give me the chance to not worry about my financial future and be able to pay my debt down faster…MUCH faster. It feels good to have 3 debts completely paid off, but there are still more.

I took Group Health as my medical so I could finally quite smoking with them paying for all or the majority of the smoking cessation program. Now I just need to find the right clinic to go to. The dental is the best I've ever had. I pay NOTHING for basic exams, cleanings, etc. (except for the $5 office visit). Then on actual procedures I only have co-payments, which I just found out are CHEAP! You might be wondering why it means so much to me when it's only dental and most people do just fine on their average $1,500 yearly cap. Did you ever notice in my pictures why I don't have a "real" smile? It's cause my teeth are in REALLY bad shape and it's embarrassing for me to smile. I've been wanting to get them fixed for a long time and now I can! I know my teeth disgust everyone, especially my girlfriend, even if they don't say anything. I did some research awhile back and discovered that smoking not only gives you yellow teeth and bad breath, but also accelerates tooth decay and enamel removal. That's where my smoking cessation program comes in.

Now, I'm not here to talk about my girlfriend or our relationship. Why should I? It's been almost a year with some ups and downs. But I finally can trust in her that she won't cheat on me. That's a good feeling when all the others have either cheated, lied and /or used me in some way. And I'm not comparing her with any past women. Now, my experience has shown me that women want 8 basic necessities in a guy: 1) Has a job, 2) Dresses well, 3) Well groomed, 4) Good hygiene, 5) Lives close enough, 6) Loves & cares for them, 7) Doesn't have a criminal background (at least not a bad one) and financially stable enough. Now, of those 8 I have at least 5. I am decently groomed (no goatee anymore), I can & do love & care for someone very much…she's my world and I am finally financially stable (I am able to have play money, bill money AND debt pay-off money!). The things I need to work on is my dental (as explained previously) and getting a place closer to her and work, which right now will be in Tacoma (which is in the works). But the question is, how far is too far for someone to travel? I travel almost 100 mi. one-way (about 2 hrs) to see my girlfriend, but I know that's too far for her and for our relationship too work well. And my background? Well, I have only been to jail once in my 31 years…so not really a criminal background. It was all caused by just 3 tickets from about 2 years ago I really thought had been taken care of. So, now I save ALL my receipts, etc. just in case…wish I had done back then.

Since I agreed to my current living situation, I've realized that I've slacked off a lot on those basic "wants" I use to posses. I use to take more pride in my looks, how I lived, I use to be a clean freak, I use to always dress well (except when doing landscaping, remodeling, etc.), had better hygiene, etc. Well, it's time to do it again. I'm constantly working on my financial plan to make the most of my money and finally get rid of past debt. It's time to get back out on my own again and live my life the way I want and should.

Over the years I've thought about just up and moving back down to SoCal or even Atlanta. I mean who would really care? Not like I'd be missed by anyone. It would be like being in the Marines again. My parents would only call or write maybe once or twice a year and my friends up here would rarely contact me. So what's really keeping me here? The only thing I can think of is my girlfriend and my job.

Now as to the song previously disused, it speaks truth on what else I need to do.

"Hey my next thirty years Im gonna have some fun Try to forget about all the crazy things Ive done Maybe now Ive conquered all my adolescent fears And Ill do it better in my next thirty years"

Now the fun part I still enjoy doing. I've done the whole clubbing/party deal for years straight (5 nights a week for 1 yr at one point). I still enjoy going to a club or good bar once in awhile, although I haven't done that in a long time…maybe I'm just embarrassing to go with, I don't know. And I've done crazy and stupid things in the past which is what me who I am. Even though some of them I would like to change. And now I know I can do it all better and wiser in my next 30 yrs.

"My next thirty years Im gonna settle all the scores Cry a little less, laugh a little more Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear Figure out just what Im doing here In my next thirty years"

I think I've settled all or most of my scores. I love to laugh! So I will always do more of that. But the "crying" part tends to be a little the past 6 yrs. I believe I've found world of happiness with Audie, if only she'll let us grow and be a better "us".

"Oh my next thirty years, Im gonna watch my weight Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers Maybe Ill remember my next thirty years"

Watch my weight? Hell yeah, I need to gain more! I do like salads so I need to eat more veggies & greens. Yeah, I have a bad habit of staying up late…I'm just a night owl. But I do need to get more sleep and learn real fast on waking up to my alarm better. Hmmm…not as many beers? Well, how about I make everyone a deal on equaling it between non-soda drinks and alcohol?

"My next thirty years will be the best years of my life Raise a little family and hang out with my wife Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years In my next thirty years"

Oh so true! They will be the best. I only hope to have a family of my own in the next 4 yrs, God willing. I'm trying to spend more time with the ones I love and care about, but they all don't seem to want to include me in their life much anymore.

So, my blog conclusion?

Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years

This musical selection is for my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend Audie, I love you baby! Listen to the words as they speak truth. I can give you the time you need and I will be here waiting in open arms and an open heart for you to be in my life.

When all our tears have reached the sea
Part of you will live in me
Way down deep inside my heart
The days keep coming without fail
A new wind is gonna find your sail
That's where your journey starts

Remember me when you're out walkin'
When the snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you're not sleepin'
And moonlight falls across your floor
When I cant hurt you anymore

Please remember me...

Music for Audie

So, last night all my friends I've known for like 15 -25 yrs (and some  less) went to celebrate my best friend's fiance's b-day....HAPPY B-DAY CHRISTI! Oh we had a great time. Went to Brouwers in Freemont, then to a smaller nice, hip bar a near downtown. It was a kick ass time just chattin with all of them since I don't get to see them very often. P.S. Christi, I love your rock....so elegant, simplistic and...BLING BLING! You 2 are my inspiration ;)

But then I realized after the end of the night that not once did I look at a woman and think to myself  "wow! she's hot...tasty!" I know, your all asking what the hell is wrong with me and if I'm goin gay on y'all. Well, hell no I'm not! The reason is I can actually look at a beautiful woman and not think about hooking up with her because I have the most wonderful, caring, gorgeous woman in the world. Why would I want to destroy my relationship with her like that? I know I'm not perfect and I am screwing things up right now cause I never took quick action on correcting my problems. I love her more than anything and I am NOT a cheater...mentally or physically...just not my thing since I've had it done to me many times. It hurts and I never want to do that to her. I know I don't show it very well right now, but I want to prove it to her, show her that I really do care about her and love her more than my own life. She IS my world, my light, my everything.

I LOVE YOU AUDIE ,

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!

Ugh....I found out that a friend of mine was caught at a murder scene recently and has a court date this friday. She's worried that she may go to prison, but from what she told me she has nothing to worry about cause she had nothing to do with it and no evidence of her partaking in it.

THEN she tells me that the god-daughter I named, Jasmin Marie Tenario, has ME as the father on the birth certificate! AND I may have to take care of her, hell I can barely support myself right now with this job change :( The only good news is that I finally got a job that is paying me what I deserve for all the hard work at all the previous, crappy jobs that I've had....about fuckin time!

So, I never told my friend yes or no. The more I think about it the more I am excited, but also scared to death. I mean I am finally getting paid enough to start taking care of myself, get rid or my ever-looming debt, seriously thinking of buying a super cheap nice house, take Audie out on vacations, etc. and take care of my dental issues. BUT if I have to take care of Jasmin, this will all go down hill. I have NO clue how to take care of an 11 month old baby and I have no one to go to for help...well, MAYBE my sister would, but I doubt it. Of course this is all contingent on if my friend gets convicted some how. She's scared to death and I don't blame her. The only time I went to jail, I was in for 24 hrs, it scared me nearly to death. But from what she told me, there is no way she can be convicted. Damn, I'm scared ... what and how do I feed her? How do I brush her teeth? Doctor visits? How would I explain this to work? Whatever schedule I get and it's not the one I want, how can it be changed, if at all? And for all the single moms out there, I have never talked bad about how hard it is. In fact, I envy you for what you accomplish with one or more kids...you truly are superwomen.

Idealist

Opening the world to new possibilities

Ok I keep seeing the post pop all over now. It really makes sense as is the best of the mass generated post around. So I thought I would embed her permantly :P

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you
know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When
someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have
expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or
spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for
the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part
or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is
time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come
to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you
laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give
you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a
season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build
upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept
the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season
or a lifetime..."

Anyway, yesterday was my birthday and I thought I would do a test......to see who remembers and who doesn't, who send's wishes and who doesn't. Well, virtually everyone on here failed miserably. Thanks a bunch folks. You can't say you didn't know cause myspace alerts you of it. Then some of you say that you don't know me to send wishes, that just goes to show how kind our society is. Either way, I'm crushed  For those who sent wishes late...your half forgiven LOL :P But at least my absolute closest friends and family remembered...ok on 3 family members did :P But all in all in itwasn't too bad....got kinda tipsy though so it was good :) After last year's fiasco for planning a party I stop doing those. Well, enough of my crappy rambling...I'm outta here!